Making time for sacred self-care means getting to know yourself, and maintaining wellness.
Ceremonial self-care is a descriptor for my work at Elemental Ayurveda, a phrase I’ve been applying to promotional materials, and my Web site, but I don’t exactly find it self-explanatory. I wanted to use this space in order to delve deeper and flesh out this idea. What is self-care, and why ceremonial?
Self-care was the centerpiece of our ancestors’ approach to health care. Wellness was more of a mystery before the laser-focus of modern medicine and advanced science, and access to medical professionals was rare. People had techniques rooted in their culture around what an average person needed to survive in a specific climate. Massage, saunas and sweat lodges, and herbalism are just the tip of the vastness of the ancient realms of self-care.
As cultures meld together and people change habitats and migrate from the traditions that kept our predecessors afloat, self-care has become foreign to most of us. While these techniques of care made it literally possible for us to be here, protecting our ancestors from disease and downfall, we have lost the traditions, the nuggets of precious hard-won information about how to take care and thrive. But as so many struggle to find wellness, mental clarity, freedom from addiction, and more, it is clear that self-care is the quality-of-life piece missing from the puzzle.
I was drawn initially to Ayurveda because of the emphasis on self-care. Self-care is creative and playful in Ayurveda, a time of doting on the self with intention and purpose. Ayurveda means “science of life” in Sanskrit, and upon studying the classic texts, it’s clear that the essence of Ayurvedic medicine is knowing the self with the confidence to perform the self-care necessary for wellness and seasonal harmony. Self-care techniques are usually the centerpiece of a person’s Ayurvedic wellness protocol as prescribed by a practitioner like me. Self-care is often inexpensive, taking more time than money usually, and can produce quicker, more tactile results than something like supplements, which can take big bucks to use and months to show results sometimes.
Many chronically ill or unhappy people transcend their perceived limitations with self-care. It is the huge missing element when just taking a pill feels like simply not enough.
You already have a self-care routine, even if you are sooooo busy, even if you eschew “preening,” but most likely, it’s kind of minimal. Hopefully, you brush your teeth and floss—you are not just waiting helplessly for your teeth to rot and pop out, you take daily action to support the health of your mouth. That is self-care. And every part of your body would like a little of that care and attention. The only thing stopping you is education! How to develop a reasonable, seasonally-adjusted self-care routine is not common knowledge. But I can teach you.
Self-care can take a less than a half hour a day, or a couple of hours per week, or both, it’s up to you and your needs. There’s always results with self-care!
I attribute my use of the word “ceremony” to my friend and fellow practitioner Cameron Free, as well as yoga teacher and friend Tirza Dawn. Both of these inspiring people use the word ceremony with a clarity and elegance that made me realize that “ceremony” is exactly what I want to cultivate in our community. Putting some ceremony in your self-care means making an intention, whether it be “I care for myself to avoid the cancer in my family” or “I do self-care to prevent depression.” Adding intention, anointing the experience with things like flowers, essential oils, candles, crystals, incense—self-care is supercharged as a ceremony. Many people fantasize about a sweetheart accentuating a romantic experience with ceremonial flair. Why shouldn’t we apply this desire to our care for ourselves?
Here’s a brief roundup of a few self-care favorites. These practices are not for everybody, all the time, and are most potent with some coaching from an Ayurvedic practitioner.
Abhyanga
Abhyanga is a warm oil self-massage, preferably a daily ritual for those who are chronically dry, experiencing anxiety, or just can’t relax. It is indicated in all mental health disorders, as well as immune issues.
Sesame oil or coconut oil are most common in this practice—sesame for those who identify as running cold, coconut for those who are on the warm side. Feel free to change the oils as the seasons change.
Starting from the feet, warm oil is applied liberally in the direction of the heart, feet to heart, hands to heart. It is important to oil everywhere, including the ears, face, genitals, nostrils, even the hair (beware, it can be quite difficult to remove oil from hair, more on that later). Think of all of the things we protectively coat with oil: wood utensils, furniture, leather, etc—oiling our bodies protects and nourishes our cherished vehicle.
The massage oil can be warmed by putting the bottle of oil in a cup of boiling water. Drops of essential oil can be added to motivate the lymphatic system, elevate the mood, etc. Speaking of the lymphatic system, also known as the immune system, this oil massage is an amazing way to keep the lymph moving. Healthy lymph means a healthy immune response. More on this later as well.
Always follow the abhyanga with a shower or bath. This might surprise you, but it’s important to wash off excess oil that will feel sticky and burdensome. Take care stepping into the tub or shower—oily feet are hazardous! While you’re at it, toss the fancy lotions and creams. Abhyanga is all you need.
I have always enjoyed abhyanga before bed, but some prefer it in the morning. It’s an awesome daily practice, even for those who at first might pooh-pooh it. It’s addictive, and can be a great gateway to self-care routines in general.
Salt scrubs
Salt scrubs are like abhyanga, but more active and investigative. Make a paste of regular old sea salt (not chunky or too fine, about 50 cents per pound in bulk) and organic sunflower oil (an energetically neutral, silky oil for all types) as well as essential oils, if you like. Get in the shower with the water off, start at the feet, work to the heart, hands to heart as well, and scrub the skin until pink. Avoid the face and neck. Be extremely careful, this can be a slippery mess!
The amazing effect of salt scrubs is that, upon turning pink, you will notice more effects on your skin, like marbling, intense redness, purplish hues, etc. These different effects are informative about the circulation and ease of lymph movement. Purple hues mean there’s coldness or stagnation in the tissue. Having difficulty turning pink at all means the lymph is not moving in those areas.
Once completely scrubbed (don’t forget your back, your hands, etc.) run the bath and bathe in the salty, oily warm water. You will feel so refreshed, so rebooted, you may be surprised you were able to make yourself feel that good!
Oil Pulling
A lot of us need a couple minutes when we wake up, a couple of minutes of solitude, without conversation, in order to adjust to another day. If you feel this way, oil pulling might be perfect for you! It's easy—just take a few teaspoons of oil in your mouth (sesame or coconut are both great, prefer sesame if you have issues with cold) and swish vigorously for at least a few minutes. Bonus: You can have a few quiet moments, because you can't talk with your mouth full of oil.
Oil pulling is supportive to the health of your mouth, good for nourishing tight jaws wrecked by TMJ, helpful for the constipated, and grounding for those who deal with stress on a daily basis. Once you've swished for a few minutes (feel free to swish as long as you like), just spit the oil out into the garbage or compost. Do not swallow. You will be amazed. The oil with be frothy with waste.
Enemas
We talked about the gateway of our digestive systems, the mouth, early in this post, and how most people have a self-care routine for dental care. Now we'll discuss the other side of the digestive system, the colon. Discussion of this topic, somewhat embarrassing to some, is of paramount importance. Ayurveda says that all diseases begin initially in the gut and yet we are just learning to care for our guts as a culture here in America!
Whether it's chronic constipation or burning diarrhea, our colons put up with a lot and get very little attention in return. Giving yourself an enema is an excellent way to shed some love on this oft-forgotten part of our bodies. Enemas hydrate deeply, helping to soften and move old stool, which clings like plaque to the large intestine wall, much like plaque clings to teeth. Enemas help soothe the mucus membrane of the colon, providing cool relief to those who experience burning elimination. Enemas help gassiness, constipation, diarrhea, you name it. Once you do one enema, you will be hooked. It's just getting over the stigma and discomfort around that first enema.
While I won't go in-depth on this topic, I encourage anybody who really wants to try an enema to come and see me, or perhaps we can talk about it on the phone. I think everyone should try it, by the way. Along with maintaining the health of the gut microbiome, enemas are crucial to digestive self-care, and sort of scratch that itch you just can't seem to locate. Know what I mean?!
Bringing it all together
Every person should have 2-3 hours per week, alone in their own home, in order to do self-care. That's my vision, as unlikely as it may be for so many of us. There are many, many more therapies to trick out your self-care routine with: herbal steam inhalations, hydrotherapy and hot-cold bathing routines, yoni steams, neti pot, candle gazing, and much more. Even just a salt scrub and an enema per week, along with a couple of daily abhyangas, can have a revolutionary effect on health.
Don't forget the ceremony! Put on the Alice Coltrane, write in your journal, spark up the incense, burn sage, light a candle, dedicate the ceremony to yourself, or someone you love. Self-care routines are an investment in time, but pay back with time! When your body's needs are met, you have more time and energy because your pacified body acts with more grace and efficiency.
Self-care is the story of the most important love that we can give: to ourselves. Because if we don't care for ourselves, we can't properly care for anybody else.
Eva Saelens is a professional member of the National Ayurvedic Medical Association, with over 1500 hours of training in Ayurveda, massage therapy, and Ayurvedic treatments. She graduated from the California College of Ayurveda in 2013. Subsequently, Eva spent a year interning and studying Ayurveda, Tibetan medicine, whole foods nutrition, aromatherapy, and pancha karma at the dhyana Center in Sebastopol, Calif., and in India.
Eva is a cook, an experimental musician and composer, a writer and proofreader, as well as an Iyengar yoga enthusiast. She grew up in Michigan and now lives in Oakland, Calif. with her husband.